Blah…

You know those times when someone asks you how you are feeling and the only word that comes to mind is “blah?” Welcome to my life. I always feel blah.

I did however feel great on Tuesday…. 4 WEEKS AGO Tuesday. And before that I don’t know how long it had been. How sad is it that I can remember the exact day a month ago when I felt great?

Here’s my deal:

I constantly have stomach cramps. You know, the kind that only girls get. But here’s the crazy thing… I no longer have a uterus! I wanted the dang thing yanked out to solve the cramping and cyst issue. Well it has been 6 weeks and I’m still having cramps all the time. I mean ALL the time. There is a moment here or there where it doesn’t hurt, but mostly… I hurt. Doc says it’s part of the healing process. It’s still going to hurt while it’s healing and that’s that.

I am always lightheaded. I would say 75% of the time I stand up too fast and have to hang on to something until the black room, ringing ears and spinning head stops.

I don’t eat well. I love me some carbohydrates! I know I need to eat healthier but I don’t love fancy things like quinoa and kale.

I am more … ahem … “big boned” these days. I definitely have a pound or 20 to lose. I play volIeyball and exercise some but not as much as I should.

So here’s the thing: If I feel “blah” all the time, don’t you think I would want to change my eating and exercising habits? Yes, in theory. But in real life… No. I don’t want to go to the gym and I want to eat bread and butter. It seems to be more important for me to live how I have been and feel yuck all the time than it would be to change my ways.

I wonder why it’s so hard. It shouldn’t be a tough decision. But it is. Something needs to change with this situation.

I don’t do New Years Resolutions, but maybe I’ll make an I-am-35-years-old-and-want-to-not-feel-blah-for-the-rest-of-my-life resolution.

I’ll think on that.

But I’m still not eating kale.