Be nice

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Buddy is my pride and joy. I am so in love with that little guy. He is such a funny and happy and smart kid. It breaks my heart that I don’t treat him like he deserves to be treated. I hate to admit it but I’ve become more and more impatient. It’s gradually gotten worse over the past several months. I snap at Buddy too easily and I yell. I never used to yell but I started. Well, a few things have happened in the past couple months that have opened my eyes and really made me want to change my ways.

It all started in the grocery store parking lot. Buddy and I were walking towards the store (well I was holding him. He loves to be held.) and we saw a mom and her 2 kids walking out of the store. The mom was yelling at one of her kids saying that he was naughty in the store and she was just berating him the whole time. Then she kicked him! It made me sick to see that. She told him that she was going to take all his toys away and she just kept going on and on and kicked him a couple times. Not just a tap… a hard kick. I was so sad for that kid. I held my little Buddy a little tighter that day. I told him what a good boy he was and how much I loved him. Even when he is being naughty I would never kick or hit him. EVER. And I know everyone has their own opinions on spanking but I don’t agree with it.

The next thing that happened was at the doctor’s office. I was in the waiting room just observing and there was a lady with a few kids. One of the kids was acting up and the mom said “You better behave or I’m going to tell the doctor to give you a shot!” Ok… this is wrong on a few different levels. First of all, when they do need shots, they are going to think that they did something bad to deserve it. Besides that, it’s just rude. Why be rude to your kids? They are your babies and human beings and need to be treated with respect… no matter how young they are.

The last thing that really made me try to change my ways happened a few weeks ago when I was mad at Buddy. We were at the store again and he wasn’t getting into his car seat. I yelled at him, forced him into his seat and buckled him up. The whole time he was yelling and kicking at me. He was crying and as we drove away, he said in a quiet little voice “I’m sorry mama.” It broke my heart. I was disgusted with myself for acting like that. I told him it was ok and I was sorry for yelling at him. Then I turned on his favorite song from the Tarzan CD and we danced in our seats and had a happy rest of the day.

So, last week I decided to try my darndest to not yell or snap. I went 5 days! I was so proud of myself. But then on the 6th day Buddy kicked Brylee (the sweet little baby we watch) and I yelled at him, so I had to start all over again. But I am really trying to be nicer and more patient because he is a sweet little boy and deserves to be treated nicely.

Now I know I’m the last person who should be giving parenting advice, but this is my blog and I can do what I want. Here are a few things I have noticed that works with Buddy:

*When he starts acting up, I know he needs some attention. So I need to stop what I’m doing for a few minutes and give him my undivided attention. Playing for just a few minutes will keep him happy for a while and then I can finish what I was doing.

*He learns from my snapping and yelling. I can’t get mad at him for talking mean to me because he’s just doing what I have been doing to him.

*He likes to have surprises. Sometimes I’ll made him a special surprise for when he wakes up from his nap. Either a special snack or I’ll have his trains all laid out ready to play with him or something.

*He loves to feel in charge and make choices. I let him choose a lot of things. It’s rigged though. For instance if I want him to get his shoes and socks on I’ll let him choose if he wants to put on his right sock first or left sock to make him feel like the one making the choices.

*If I’m busy doing housework I need to engage him:

~When I’m doing laundry I’ll walk past him with the laundry basket over my head and stick my arms straight out and walk like a robot saying I’m the Alphabetabot. Or I’ll stop and tickle him for a few seconds or walk past him doing a sidestep shuffle or just something silly to make him smile.

~I like to listen to music while I work so I’ll stop, pick Buddy up and dance with him for a minute.
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Anyway, that’s my 2 cents.

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